What can Parents and Caregivers do to Prevent Bullying?

No matter how old you are, where you live or whether you’re a parent, a student or a teacher, we’ve all heard stories about friends, loved ones and strangers being bullied. Some of the stories are worse than others, some have tragic endings and some make us question what is and isn’t bullying.

Research shows that one third of teens reported being bullied at school and about half of all teens have been the victims of cyberbullying. Even more worrisome, only one in 10 teens tells a parent about the cyberbullying.

Bullying isn’t a new problem and, based on these and other stats, it doesn’t appear to be a problem on the decline. But, there are a number of things parents, teachers, child care workers and adults in general, can do to prevent bullying and lessen the hurt caused by this behavior.

What can you do?

If a young person tells you that he or she is being bullied, your main goal should be to offer comfort and support and to help him or her feel safe. It’s important to remember that young people may be embarrassed or ashamed about being the victim of bullying so they tend to be reluctant to talk to an adult about the problem.

For that reason, it’s always a good idea to assure him or her that the bullying is not their fault. Beyond that, listen to what he or she has to say and ask what you can do to make him or her feel safe.

There are a few strategies young people can employ to deal with, and hopefully lessen, the occurrence of bullying incidents.

Avoid the bully

Develop a plan to make sure they are never alone with the bully. For example, if a girl sees her bully go into a bathroom, it might be best for her to use another bathroom if possible.

Set up a buddy system

We’re all familiar with the buddy system – it means pairing up with someone else so two people operate as a unit to help each other. In the case of bullying, the buddy should be present when the bullying is most likely to occur, maybe on the bus, in the cafeteria or at a social activity.

Work on anger management skills

This is a life skill that will benefit a young person throughout his or her entire life and one that can diffuse a number of tense situations. Help the youth understand that an angry outburst will only serve to encourage the bully to continue the abuse. Simple relaxation tools, such as taking deep breaths and counting to ten before reacting, are examples of the coping skills you can suggest and teach. Though not a way to control one’s own anger, it’s important to note that victims shouldn’t laugh or smile at the bully because that type of reaction is likely to lead to more abuse.

Talk to an adult

Encourage the youth to tell an adult, whether that adult is you, a teacher, a coach or a parent, about all bullying incidents so the problem can be addressed. Talking about the issue usually helps the young person realize they’re not alone and that the adult will do everything possible help with the problems.

Bullying can be prevented, especially if we work together to change our attitude about bullying behaviors. If we start by identifying and supporting children who are bullied and then work to redirect the behaviors of the bullies themselves, we can prevent this form of abuse and make school, and social settings, a place to learn and have fun, not a place to fear.

What’s being done in your community to prevent bullying?