Surefire Ways to Ruin Meetings and Annoy Your Co-workers

Are you looking for ways to ruin meetings and annoy your co-workers? If you are, you’ve come to the right place. Without fail, these tips will ensure you do just that. However, rejecting these tips will help you maintain a peaceful and amicable workplace (which is, in all honesty, is probably the sensible choice).

Arrive late.

Time is valuable. Especially your time. The meeting was set for 11 a.m. but you had to finish your proposal for new office furniture – these things are important, right? The meeting stalls while everyone else sits and waits for you. All eyes are on you when you enter the room, and sure, the frustration in the air could be cut with a knife but you did what you needed to do, right? And besides, your boss and co-workers surely have nothing better to do than wait for you, right?

Come unprepared.

Time was taken to assemble this meeting, and more likely than not, all attendees were briefed on its purpose. But the email alert with the agenda was a bit long and you saw no reason to read through the whole thing – or any of it for that matter. So what if everyone else already knows the answer to every question you ask, or that you are bringing up something on page four while the discussion is still on page two, or that your co-workers are rolling their eyes. You’ll get up to speed eventually.

Don’t pay attention and create distractions.

You forgot to silence your cellphone so it goes off right in the middle of the tense discussion on budget cuts. Just switch it to vibrate so you don’t miss anything important. You’re pretty focused on your lap where a cat dressed as a pirate dances on your phone screen so you probably don’t notice your co-workers glaring at you before you look up to ask about the new budget cuts. Why is everyone staring at you? Oh, your question was just answered. Next time, just whisper to your co-workers to ask what you missed – it won’t distract them too much.

Point fingers at your colleagues.

Remember when your brother knocked over mom’s antique vase? You rushed to call mom to share the exciting news that you were in fact NOT responsible for the mess. She was going to find out anyway, but with this breach of trust your brother certainly didn’t hesitate to call you out the next time you did something wrong.

Apply this thinking to any issues addressed at the meeting – make sure you are the first to call out blame or take credit. While it may sometimes look suspicious that you’re the first to point a finger at someone else, but maybe blaming Patricia from accounting for your mistake on the paperwork will keep you in the clear. While you’re at it, take credit for a project on which your co-workers contributed. You might find yourself alone in the corner at the next meeting, but hey, you got all the credit for the last project so it was worth it, right? Just don’t expect an invite to the next happy hour.

Monopolize the conversation.

Take any and all opportunities to talk about anything other than the topic of the meeting. Now’s a good time to share all your intimate life details – the more personal the better. Bring up politics or tell that funny joke you heard the other day. Talk as long as you can about each subject on the meeting agenda, and certainly, don’t let anyone else have input. You probably know more about it anyway, and this will make you look smarter than everyone else. Besides, this is your time to shine and your opinion matters most. Right?

If you do all these things, take pride in knowing that you’ve mastered the art of wasting everyone’s time. If you do only some of these things, maybe it’s time to reconsider your priorities, your approach to meetings, and your time management skills. Otherwise, someone else (like your boss) might reconsider these things for you.